Part Four: Why Haven't I Written Anything In Like Three Weeks
or
Part Four: How To Be Consistent
Everybody loves starting new things! (See my first post on this blog) It's exciting and hopeful and you haven't made a giant fool of yourself yet. You haven't blown it yet. If you're like me, you especially love getting "outfitted" for your new venture. And usually without finding out if you even like it. I'll buy new boots/books/racquets/glues/paints/pots/seeds/knives/forks/wax/polish/sanding belts (whoa!) and then I make a calendar (whee!) in which I can record all of my successes. I usually announce it somewhere really public so that when I neglect to actually do anything with all this crap I just bought I've got lots of handy chances to recount exactly how much money I wasted this time. It's all really fun. And then about two days (hours) into it all, you eventually find out that ionizing your water every day or scrapbooking your weekend in Temecula is very boring and you don't like it and that's the end. What follows is a feeling of failure and disgrace. Quickly followed by a yard sale.
I'm sure a lot of us do something similar with Wellness. Diets are notorious "Success Vacuums". And then there's exercise regiments - or as I like to call them - "Your Annual Opportunity To Fail". Too often I think we think of being healthy as something you have to "achieve". You either do it perfectly every time or you're useless.
Try this idea: being healthy is all in the choosing.
Huh?
Look, I think it goes without saying that your image of yourself as a being worth love, attention and gentle care is a necessary first step. We always seem to take better care of the stuff we value. If you understand how valuable you are then you don't do the things some of us do to ourselves: smoke, overeat, overdrink, worry, stress, strain, sit on a couch for seventeen straight hours in your underpants watching Netflix streaming. Understanding your value might just open the door for you to really start making the healthy choices and mindful habits that keep your body, mind and heart running smooth. And maybe it curtails a financially devastating shopping trip to REI. (Seriously, I almost came home with a canoe. A canoe.) And if choosing to do your routine or your habits every day methodically makes you feel good - awesome! Then you're on your way! But, similarly, if your journey is a little less regimented - if it ebbs and flows and sometimes sinks in a hole then comes back after a brief absence - still awesome! Because you still came back. And that was a good choice.
I realize all of this advice is readily available on a plethora of "women's" magazine covers or afternoon talk shows. And maybe it annoys you as much as it does me. But here's the difference - I'm also asking you to really check in with your inspiration to do these things. I'm asking you to really examine your impetus. (And no - you don't need to do humiliating things in front of a mirror to find it - get your mind outta the gutter.) Because I'll bet if you think about it there are plenty of things you do in a day that aren't so hot for you and the reason you do them is equal parts addiction and mindlessness. I'm here to posit that the antidote is a nice little shot of "Today, I'm gonna give a shit." Maybe instead you shift a little gear in your mind that never realized how good it feels to be taken care of the right way. To have someone take the remote out of your hand then take that hand outside for a walk around the block. That someone can and should be you.
And here's how I think it helps lead to consistency; because it's something you do to take care of yourself. And you like that. Even if you don't always like an hour of yoga every morning, you like being focused, patient and alert. Even if you don't like eating almonds instead of potato chips, you like laughing with your family more than having a heart attack. OK - that one seemed harsh. But truth hurts. Almost as much as heart attacks.
I recently went to a beautiful place in Big Sur and surrounded myself with loving grace and beautiful peace. It was absolutely perfect. I worked in the garden, walked up giant hills, took two hour naps, listened to haunting psalms being sung in a gloriously simple sanctuary that opened to an endless sky. I was silent almost the entire time. I opened my ears and my heart to a better possibility for myself. I opened myself to a new idea that I deserved it all. That I was imperfect in the most aspirational of ways. I felt good.
Then, when I got home -
I immediately got drunk. It wasn't funny and it wasn't good. That was my response to myself for all that love and care up there. That was how I saw myself back in my life here.
So, the next morning, I saw what I had done and I... chose something else. Didn't spiral off into frustration and defeat. Didn't forget what I had learned. I remembered my trip. I remembered it all and treated myself with compassion. I remembered that I spent that week in a state of love and forgiveness that we rarely allow ourselves. And I really liked it better than feeling wasted. Imagine that. Three weeks later, I'm trucking right along.
Thankfully, I'm still not doing it right all the time.
Because if I was I wouldn't have the chance to choose peace over turmoil. And it's in that choosing that I think we find the opportunity to showcase our best Wellness. We have the chance to be consistent in the only thing that counts. Love. No matter what.
Go be consistent.
Coming up:
Who Wants To Buy This Canoe? Or This Snowboard? Or These Scrapbooks? Or This Home Jam Kit?
